The Third Option
“The Third Option”
by Pastor Miles McPherson
July 12, 2020
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” “I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Genesis 4:9 (NIV)
This message is based on the book “The Third Option” by Miles McPherson about finding unity in a time of division. Our culture wants us to believe that we have to pick one of two options when we are in conflict-- either one side or the other: you’re either for the police or against them, you’re either a Republican or a Democrat, and so on. We end up buying into an “Us vs. Them” mindset, which only leads to more division and conflict. We even see this mindset in the Bible when Joshua asks, “Are you for us or for them?” (Joshua 5:13).
However, God gives us a third option: a way of thinking about and approaching conflict that honors and gives value to what we have in common, instead of focusing on the differences. The third option allows us to rise above the division and recognizes that everyone is made in the image of God. His image in any one of us is not superior to his image in another person. We need to work together to demonstrate this truth, even and especially with people who don’t look like us, share our same life experiences, or who think differently than we do. This is how we as the church can model to the world what it looks like to live in harmony.
One of the ways we can live out the Third Option is by becoming a “Brother’s Keeper.” Cain and Abel were brothers, but Cain’s inability to see himself as his brother’s keeper led to hatred and ultimately to Abel’s death (Genesis 4:9). Imagine the change that could happen if all of us chose to invest in the spiritual and emotional health of our brothers and sisters.
Being a brother’s keeper is not about being the racism police or shaming other people; it is actually the opposite-- it is nurturing, guarding and protecting an honorable heart in ourselves as well as our brothers and sisters. If we deal with the health of our heart and help others deal with theirs, then we will deal with racism, along with lust, anger, unforgiveness and many other issues.
There are four principles when it comes to being a brother’s or a sister’s keeper:
1. To be your brother’s keeper, you’ve got to have a brother or sister to keep.
Proverbs says that “as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,” (Proverbs 27:17). Let’s identify those people in our lives who we can confront in love and speak life to. Let’s nurture and give each other wisdom in how to walk down this road together. We have more influence with people than we know to challenge others to be just, fair and loving.
2. A brother’s keeper must focus on doing right, not being right.
This is not about winning an argument; it’s about winning a heart. We don’t have to win the argument; we just have to stir people up to think about what they’re actually saying. Look at how Jesus deals with conflict in the Bible. Instead of shutting people down or shaming them, it is much more powerful to ask questions so that others can come to see the truth on their own. Give people an opportunity to see a different side to the issue, and ask them about their experience. Let them reveal what is really in their heart.
3. A brother’s keeper is a keeper of self.
We’ve got to make sure our own heart is right. We’re not here to be the racism police; we are here to love our neighbor as ourselves. When we take care of ourselves and keep our own hearts healthy, it allows us to love others better. Every person was made in the image of God and was made to know God, and our responsibility is to love that into them, but we’ve got to be a keeper of ourselves first.
4. A brother’s keeper must keep as long as it takes. We’ve got to keep nurturing, loving, and encouraging people--day in and day out. When Cain told God that his punishment was greater than he could bear, the Lord put a mark on him that whoever killed him would be cursed (Genesis 4:13-15). God wanted to preserve Cain’s life and give him room to repent. Don’t give up on the difficult people in your life. We have to remember that God didn’t give up on us, and that other people didn’t give up on us when we were at our worst either. God will use those people in your life to make you more patient and more like him. Decide that you are going to love those people into the Kingdom.
We can’t clean up our life on our own; only Jesus can wipe away our sin. Jesus is not like a dishwasher; he doesn’t need us to clean up to a certain level before we come to him. He wants us to bring all our issues, prejudices, hurt and pain to him. He is the savior, and we are the saved. He can take our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh.
Reflection/Discussion Questions:
1. Is there someone in your life who has been a keeper to you?
2. How do you see your role as a reconciler? Are you willing to engage in the Third Option to honor and give value to what we have in common?
3. Who in your life needs a keeper who sticks closer than a brother?
4. What challenges have you faced in seeking to become more of a brother’s or sister’s keeper? What makes the challenge worth your trouble?