Relational Resilience
…And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
As we continue to learn about the Lord’s Prayer, it is essential for us to lean into it as a spiritual discipline. Consistent interaction with this prayer and application of its principles will help us to grow into a deeper connection with God, ourselves, and those around us. This particular portion of the prayer, where Jesus demonstrates the way to approach God for forgiveness, holds a lot of significance despite how brief it is.
One of the most beautiful parts of a relationship with God is the fact that He invites us into a lifestyle of forgiveness through Christ’s life and death. In this Scripture, Jesus emphasizes that our ability to receive God's grace and forgiveness is directly tied to our willingness to forgive others. He makes it clear that holding onto unforgiveness hinders the work of God in our lives. This is in line with Matthew 5:23-24 where Jesus instructs us to address conflict, leave our offering, and pursue reconciliation first. The two passages together make one thing very clear: unresolved hurt can block us from experiencing the fullness of God’s Grace.
The act of releasing hurt is much easier said than done. Many times we experience the same harsh feelings even after we have forgiven the people that hurt us. In some cases, we struggle with forgiveness because we feel owed an apology or explanation for the actions or events. However, releasing someone is not about declaring their actions justifiable. Instead, it is about entrusting justice to God. We don’t let people off the hook. We take them off our hook and place them in God’s hands, the only one who judges righteously. In fact, true forgiveness is a process that often requires repeated acts of releasing hurt. True forgiveness requires us to continuously pray this prayer of release and hand the hurt over to the only one who can resolve it.
Realistically, unforgiveness is self-destructive. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. If we hold onto resentment, we take on a burden we were not built to carry. We will also hinder our ability to receive God's healing. As we push towards true forgiveness, we must intentionally avoid behaviors that keep us trapped in the hurt. These guard rails can help keep us on the right track:
Don’t ignore it: Ignoring pain doesn’t make it go away. Just like chewing on the other side of your mouth to avoid a toothache doesn’t fix the cavity, avoiding emotional pain through procrastination only worsens it. Time alone doesn’t heal all wounds, but Jesus does. Instead of pretending to be okay, we need to bring our hurt to Him and allow Him to heal and restore us.
Don’t run from it: It is very tempting to run from the people and places that hurt us in search of a perfectly safe alternative where we won’t have to deal with it. There are no perfect people, only people willing to be perfected by God. Running from pain doesn’t heal. It only leads to exhaustion and new struggles. True healing comes from facing our hurt and allowing God to restore us.
Don’t hide it: Hiding pain doesn’t make it disappear. It just pushes it away temporarily until the pain finds a new place to resurface. It’s okay to acknowledge hurt, but we shouldn’t stay stuck in it. Just like Nehemiah, whose vulnerability and willingness to admit that he was hurting led to restoration for him and his people, we must be willing to be honest about the hurts we are holding. We must reveal the pain so that God can heal it.
Don’t worry: Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. We rock back and forth without ever actually progressing in any direction. Instead of worrying, we are called to work on our problems. A big part of the work is going to God and releasing the weight of the hurt. When we do this, there is room for God to release the Grace and forgiveness that he is holding.
Don’t resent your pain: Resentment multiplies pain, distorts our perspective, and poisons our joy. We must focus on solutions and not blame others. By choosing to die on the cross, Jesus took on all available blame. He took responsibility for every sin we could ever commit and every sin that has ever been committed against us. This frees us up to use our energy to target what is wrong instead of trying to figure out who is wrong.
Don’t give up: Instead of giving up on ourselves or situations because of hurt, we are called to be like Jesus. He chose to give up the hurt He was feeling to God. He chose to pray for those who had caused Him pain when He said, on the cross, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” We are called to follow this example and hand over the pain instead of abandoning ourselves, even when it is incredibly difficult and painful.
Forgiveness is not a one-time act but a continual discipline. The Lord’s Prayer is a daily reminder that as we receive God’s grace, we must release past hurts.
Prayer: Lord, reveal any areas of my heart where I am holding onto unforgiveness and hurt. Help me to release pain, resentment, and disappointment so that I may walk freely in Your grace. I entrust my hurt to You, knowing that You see, You care, and You are the righteous judge. Fill me with Your peace and teach me to forgive as You have forgiven me. Amen.