When the Heart Speaks
City Church Chicago Message Recap
“When the Heart Speaks” by Pastor Alli Munsey
September 15, 2019
“Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
Matthew 15:16-20, NIV
What you eat does not defile you, but what comes out of your mouth can. In Matthew 15:12, the elders of the church came to Jesus with a complaint about eating the wrong foods. Jesus says we should worry more about what comes out of our mouth than what goes into it.
What we say reveals what is in our hearts. It's the inward things that drive the outward response. To be defiled means that we are at odds with God. When we are at odds with people, then we are at odds with God.
The Pharisees could quote the word of God, but their life and character did not honor God. If we're not careful, pride will reside in our hearts, and we'll pass by the broken, hurting people. The political and religious leaders were more interested in being right than helping people.
Our rightness never produces the righteousness of God. Jesus did not die on the cross to be right; he came for people. The religious leaders with their nice robes and noses turned up did not bring righteousness; grace did. We have to trade our ways for his ways and learn from him. If we want to do relationships well, we have to look at how Jesus does them.
Whatever is in us will eventually come out (Ephesians 4:22). Like an old can of pop that nobody knows was shaken but explodes when opened, we often don't know what's inside of us until we're shaken.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy changes behavior by changing belief systems on the inside. In order to change our outward behavior, we have to change our inward beliefs.
It’s not bad to be broken. It matters where you take your brokenness to. Jesus tells us to bring our brokenness to him. The best place to be broken is in his presence. He wants to take the pain, unforgiveness, anger and shame from you and replace them with his love.
If you are feeling shame or condemnation, that is not from God. There is no shame or condemnation in Jesus (Romans 8:1). Repentance and forgiveness erase them in God’s sight. When God forgives you, he forgets (Micah 7:19).
There are 4 ways that we can address the issues of the heart:
1. Pray about it before you talk about it. (Philippians 4:6-7)
Here is a prayer that we can pray when we’re feeling anxious or upset about a problem:
“Jesus, I am ________ about ________. I give this issue to you. I know you work all things for my good and your glory. I want to thank you for your ________.”
2. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. (Proverbs 10:19, Proverbs 19:11)
How many conflicts could we avoid if we would listen before we talk? If we seek to listen to understand, rather than to be understood, we could avoid a lot of conflict.
3. Speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15)
Anyone can tell it like it is, but it takes restraint to tell it in love rather than judgment, pride or resentment.
4. Be imitators of Christ. (Ephesians 5:2)
Jesus wants us to learn a new way. He has made all things new.
Often times, the root of why we want to hold onto our pain is because we don't fully trust Jesus, and we don't know what our lives would look like if we didn't have that thing to hold over someone else's head. If we will trust him and give it to him, then our lives will start to look different.
It is counterintuitive for us to turn from the old and turn toward the new. But this new way of living produces better results. Say no to the pain and trust God with it. You are a new creation, and you have the power to make decisions about how you want to live your life.
Discussion questions and reflection
If you’re upset or anxious about something, who is the first person you talk to about it? Try praying first before you speak to anyone else about it.
When you find yourself in conflict, are you listening to respond or listening to understand? Practice listening to understand and being slow to respond, and see how it changes things.
Look for ways to speak truth in love this week. When you’re tempted to share feedback or criticism, first ask yourself whether you’re coming from a place of judgement or love.
How can you imitate Christ more in your relationships this week?